The COWS WITH GUNS story
as told by Oliver


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Part 1. VISITED BY THE GREAT COSMIC COW

 

I awoke at about 5:14AM one August morning in 1994 from a strange dream. Bovine revolutionaries had just taken over Omaha in the most significant defeat of the US military since Red Cloud dusted Custer. The story was told in a simple countryesque tune with an over abundance of weak rhymes and low blow puns. I immediately rose to scribble down the 14 or so verses I remembered from the dream.

My human "Dana" was asleep, as usual, missing the most vibrant part of the day. As I stared at his slumbering form, I realized that the humor of this song was so simple that even humans could appreciate it. I channelled the dream to Dana as he slept, then knocked over a plant to wake him so he would remember it.

He mumbled something, rose from bed and picked up the plant. He called me a "bad cat" and put me outside. What a loser.

Later he came out into the parking lot and scribbled in a notebook. He laughed to himself as he wrote. Simple jokes for simple folks.

 

"I love vegetarians. I had 2 for lunch." . . . Oliver

 

Back to the REAL human version of the story.
Nobodies going to believe you dreamt the story Oliver. So bug off.

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